I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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