marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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