First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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