Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
