he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
