How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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