drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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