Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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