We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
