what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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