I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
