Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
