We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
