Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
