Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
