i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
