I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
