I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
