remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
