I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
