dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
