Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
