It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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