Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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