we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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