i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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