Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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