Christians are straight up FREAKS
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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