His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
