so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Boobs speak an international language.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
