Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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