Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
