fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
