Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
