i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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