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i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
