he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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