The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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