My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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