I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
