Have you finally orgasmed yet?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are we still banned from the library?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
