you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i out mim tonsoeep
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
