he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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