Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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