There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
