ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
