Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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