You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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