Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
