Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
