is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
