So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
