OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
