Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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