Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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