respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize