Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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