There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
