Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
