Where is the hickey?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
